Green Toothpaste Poster

A very, very silly motivational poster. Omg why did I do this?! I couldn't get the phrase out of my head when I was coloring this particular panel Beware the seeming innocent looking green toothpaste! BEWARE~!


Original comic here:



== WARNING: LONG RANT & TRUE STORY ==
Note: Story of my encounter with overly earnest Japanese exchange student reposted from previous comic post

I remember her being introduced in class, so nervous yet at the same time nearly bursting with excitement. She ended up sitting beside me because my English was the best in class. I did not speak a lick of Japanese. She could not speak the native language. This surprised me for why would she agree to come to a country where she could barely speak the language. She was either very foolish... or brave. Looking at her blazing smile, I settled for the latter.

English became our medium of conversation though she spoke hers a bit brokenly but no less enthusiastically. Somehow our polite conversation wandered into the realm of food and she excitedly described in vivid detail all her favourite meals, hands gesturing erratically. Then, she began extolling the virtues of her most favourite food ever, wasabi. As she ranted on an on about this glorious dish I foolishly grew intrigued and asked the question I would later regret: "What is wasabi?"

She halted immediately, eye flashing unbelievably wide as she actually physically recoiled backwards. As if the sheer notion, the absolute clueless-ness of my expression so absolutely unfathomable. "Ehhhhh? You don't know wasabi?"

I blinked at her, shaking my head slowly, not really trusting myself to speak. If anything, she recoiled even further back, shooting me another incredulous look and that strange strangled 'Ehhh' sound. Why? Did I say something wrong? Was wasabi code for something horribly mundane??

Before I could process that thought, she immediately spun around and dug through her school bag with unsettling fervor. Then with a triumphant cry, she fished something out and held it before me.

It was a tube of green toothpaste.

Or at least, that was the closest thing my poor mind could deliver, having never seen such packaging used on anything other that toothpaste. And then, to my horror she squeeze a slither of green muck onto her finger, stuck it to her mouth and sighed with eerie bliss. She smacked her lips and held the green toothpaste up, proudly declaring: "Wasabi!"

The first thing that ran through my mind was : Did all Japanese carry tubes of toothpa-- wasabi with them? The next was: what does it taste like?

Obviously reading my expression, the next thing I knew she had gingerly pulled my hand over and had squirted a pea-sized drop onto my finger. She smiled again, orange-dyed hair framing her earnest face. "Try! Very good!"

I looked at her. Then down at my finger. For some reason, I hesitated. Perhaps I had some heightened awareness of the future and was being warned by this super sense. Perhaps I had superior survival skills in detecting danger. Perhaps it was because I had green toothpaste on my finger. Whatever the reason, it made me pause. I looked up at her again.

She was watching me expectantly. Not in the devious way someone with ill-intentions might stare but in a completely honest and open expression one may have when sharing a cherished pastime. A trading of cultures. Of understanding.

And then she smiled. A free and happy smile. A smile that shone like the sun with the knowledge she had brought light to my ignorant world. Despite myself, I felt the tips of my mouth twitch upwards. And thus I gave the green tooth-- wasabi-- a tentatively lick.

...

To her credit, she did not howl in laughter or wickedly declare everything having been a devious prank. However, she didn't appear sympathetic either. In fact, she appeared utterly dumbstruck, perhaps even slightly petrified as I tore through my backpack, wrenching out my water bottle and downing half the contents in one gulp.

Later I would understand her expression. My reaction was obviously extremely unexpected. The tears, the coughing, was so completely off she couldn't even process my reaction. It was akin to someone picking up a stamp and weeping uncontrollably. My reaction simply did not compute. How could anyone react in anyway other towards her delicious wasabi? Still, very hesitantly, her back stiff as a ramrod she added uncertainly: "Some people find it hot..."

"Some people?" I wanted to scream but all that came out was a weak, raspy voice. I grabbed my bottle and drained another gallon.

As she watched me, completely mystified and still very uncertain, Traitorous Friend #1 sauntered by our table. "'Sup? You settling in okay?" Was he hitting on her?

She relaxed, only a fraction, her eyes nervously darting between us. "Ah yes. Very well. Arigatou."

Traitorous Friend #1 beamed brightly, nodding his head eagerly. 'Cool' he said, then switching to English he added: "What's that?" He pointed at the green toothpaste.

"Ohh! This is wasabi. Um. Some people find it hot." She immediately flashed me an apologetic look. I drank more water.

"Wa-sa-bi? Ya I heard of that. Can try?"

My head snapped upwards as I glared at Traitorous Friend #1. She looked nervous now, but she obliged him and squirted another of the green gob. He lifted it up to his face, sniffed, and stuck it right into his mouth. I waited.

Traitorous Friend #1 sniffed again, made a very slight grimace and then shrugged. Wait WHAT?? "Yeah, little bit hot."

As I sputtered unintelligently, she on the other hand relaxed completely, her shoulder sagging down in relief. "Ah~ Good. Good."

Then like sharks to a wounded seal, more Traitorous Friends arrived, eager to sample the green toothpaste. Traitorous Friend #2 even went so far as to suggest she liked it!

As I slummed into my chair, cradling my now empty water bottle, I tried to block out the cacophony of the surrounding Traitorous Friends. Apparently Traitorous Friend #1 was regaling my less than stoic reaction towards the wasabi. Such a great classmate.

The taste lingered.

Then, I felt someone tugging at my sleeve and I blinked open weary eyes. She was smiling again but it appeared slightly dimmer than before. "Ah, surimasen. Sorry about wasabi."

I waved the matter away, my mind already furiously blocking the memory of the the taste from my fragile psyche.

"Um. If you don't like wasabi um... OH! Yatta! I know!!"

I didn't like the sound of that. Weakly I opened my eyes again to see her ripping through her school bag. She soon pulled out a rather large bundle, tearing it open eagerly. Did she keep food or books in her school bag??

"Wasabi is hot but this is very cool. Try it! Very nice!"

And she held before me another green thing.

Dried seaweed.


FIN.